Business Quotes

Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.

If you don’t have enemies, you don’t have character.

The self-anointed media elite among us believe, somewhat self-servingly, that not only the act, or process of making a profit is positively sinister, but also that the very desire to do so is.

These b**tards who run our country are a bunch of conniving, thieving, smug pricks who need to be brought down and removed and replaced with a whole new system that we control.

I think the biggest frustration about reviews is when they criticize your best bit. And then you go, “What the ****?” I remember when I was a comedian, I’d get a bad review and they’d always fail to say that the audience was dying laughing.

I’m 48. For a while after ‘The Jerk’ (movie) I had a feeling of failure. I was a little scared. First people discover you and they love you. You get big and then you fail. And people are glad that you fail. But I’ve always come back and I’ve started to trust myself.

Reviews for someone like me come in three packages. One is justifiable praise, the second is justifiable criticism, and the third is, “This is only published because he’s a celebrity.”

If you’re a car salesman, and someone says “This is a terrible car, I’m not buying it,” it doesn’t mean they hate you. They just don’t like your product. I think that’s a mistake a lot of people in show business make.. they’re so tied to their act they take everything personally.

Don’t let anyone say you can’t do it.

It was quite tough, not many opportunities. I remember in primary school, one of my teachers said, “As for you young man, you haven’t got much of a future.”